just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
