There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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