i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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