READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
