New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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