I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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