pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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