I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
