I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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