so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
