Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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