Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
