you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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