There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize