what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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