It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
