I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
