You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
