Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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