Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
