Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
