Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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