Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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