Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
