Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
