I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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