I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
