I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
