I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
In America we eat man semen.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
