think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
