I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize