Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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