i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
