Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
