I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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