Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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