: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
