Its about making memories worth repressing
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
