good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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