just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
