I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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