thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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