does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
