you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
