just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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