this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I looked at my own cervix.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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