1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
