Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
