If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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