my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
