i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
