Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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