one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
