I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
