There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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