As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
