now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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