I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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