those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize