You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
