I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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