Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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