So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
