So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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