Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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