I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
