Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
