I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
