It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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